A self conscious moment.

Do you ever look at a picture someone has taken of you and genuinely hate what you see? You look at the photograph and can't comprehend that's what you look like? 

Ollie and I went for a really nice walk last night. The sun was just setting, the temperature was just right and we decided to be nosy and look at all the posh back gardens. With the sun shining on my make- up free face, Ollie took a quick, sneaky snap of me. I wasn't posing, but smiling away, really enjoying the moment. However, my happiness faded as soon as I look at the picture. 

The girl in the photo looked nothing like me. Her posture was terrible, with really rounded shoulders. Her eyes were super small and looked really tired. So many thoughts ran through my head... Is this actually what I look like? Is this what people see when they look at me? 

It made me feel very low. I felt incredibly self-conscious, convinced that all people see when they look at me is a tired girl with incredibly bad posture. I forgot about all the things that I like about myself, concentrating fully on my flaws. 

We live in a world where we have become so disconnected to what we actually look like. Most of the selfies we see on our Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat have been filtered in so many different ways. We will only ever post a photo on the internet if we know that we look our best, right? I know I use the animal filters on Snapchat regularly. Is it possible that we have forgotten what our reflection really looks like?

You could say that I am being pretty dramatic (in true Meg style). The photo Ollie took was of my side profile, it wasn't posed, and I wasn't even aware it was being taken till the last minute. As soon as I said I hated it, the photo was deleted, and 'forgotten about'. However, I haven't forgotten about it, so much so that I couldn't fight the urge to write about it. 

Perhaps it is a good thing the photo was taken. It highlighted the issues I have with my posture, something I have been battling with most of my life. Hopefully it will make me pull my finger out, and actually do something about it, before I turn into a clone of my Grandad and his curved back. 

I'm hoping that I will soon forget about the photo, and just enjoy the memory of a lovely evening walk in our new home. And if I don't forget it, hopefully I will just come to peace with the fact that we all have things that we don't like about ourselves, but they are overshadowed by the things that make us feel FABULOUS. 

Till next time,

Stay golden x